Thursday, January 31, 2008

Tan Tan Tan-Dan-Dan-Dan!

"... and his work on the Declaration of Independence laid the ideals on which America was built. I hope you enjoyed my report on Thomas Jefferson"
"Ok, very nice Stan. You get a B. Now let's see who is next ... hmmm... who is next..."
"No, God please not me... Oh Jesus son of God, Oh Father in Heaven no..."
"... how about you Eric?"
"Aaw! Godd-ddd-dammit..."
"Eric Cartman"
"...Son-of-a-bbb*tch"
"What did you say!"
"Nothing"
"Don't you have the report on your favorite person from History ready?"
"Yes I have"
"Then why don't you come here and present it?"
"I'm gonna"
"Now Eric!"
"Godd-ddammit!... Good Morning. Today I'm going to talk about my favourite person in History, who is ... umm... eh... yeah I know, Adolf Hitler!"
"What?"
"Adolf Hitler was a great leader... umm... he was totally awesome... umm.. he was the leader of Germany and did many good things for the world... "
"This is full of crap! You can't like Adolf Hitler! He just mass-murdered people and started the World War. He din't do anything good!"
"Yes he did! He identified the Joo problem and solved it by killing them..."
"This is outrageous! This is a hate speech!"
"... Mrs. Garrison I'm really having a difficult time with all these interruptions"
"Kyle, let Eric present his report"
"You call this a report? How can you allow this kinda racist crap?"
"That's enough Kyle! Go on Eric"
"... ummm yeah... and so, Hitler killed the Joos and ... ummm, got the world rid of Hippies and Gingers! That was my report on Adolf Hitler which I prepared after extensive study and research. Thank you!"
"It's obvious you just made all that up right now. You get an F Eric, now go back to your seat"
"Aaw! Godd-dammit!"
"Hmm, now let's see... Kyle you are next"
"My favorite person from history is the Indian spiritual and national leader, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi"
"Mrs. Garrison, I seriously object to Kyle using the word 'Indian', its ignorant and racist. The correct term is 'Native Americans' "
"It's 'Indian' as in 'India', retard"
"Yeah, and besides, look who's talking- you are the one who is a racist assh*le, fat-ass!"
"KYLE BROFLOSKI WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! ERIC CARTMAN STOP INTERRUPTING THE CLASS! STAN MARSH MIND YOUR MANNERS! KENNY MCKORMICK STOP STARING AT BEBE'S CHEST!... whew... Continue Kyle..."
"M. K. Gandhi was also called 'Mahatma' Gandhi or a great soul in India. He helped India get independence through non-violent and peaceful struggle, not by killing... "
"Fags!"
(Laughs)
"ALRIGHT EVERYONE JUST SHUT-THE-HELL-UP! Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ!"
"He was born in an affluent family in India. His family's good standing in the society enabled him to have good education after which, he moved to England to study law. He went to practice in South Africa, where he campaigned for the rights of Indians and the native people who faced racist discrimination at the hands of the administration run by the minority white population. Later he went back to India and started a mass-movement for freedom against the British administration. He also worked hard to bring dignity to the people of low caste in India, who were historically discriminated. His famous methods of peaceful resistance have been used by many leaders all over the world, including Martin Luther King. Thank you."
"Very Good Kyle, you get an A"
"What! Thats bull-crap!"
"Eric, for the love of God..."
"No seriously, Kyle gives this gay-little speech about some p*ssy-ass Joo and you give him an A, while I get an F!"
"Gandhi wasn't a Jew fat-ass, he was a Hindu"
"Hindoo, Joo they are all the same. And did you see the obvious holes in his report Mrs. Garrison? There were people in his own country who were discriminated and this guy goes about accusing government of being racist in South Africa. How is that discrimination any better than racism?"
"No, that's different"
"Different? People in India identify caste based on their parent's caste right? In other words, its their birth which defines the basis of their discrimination. Well, its the same with racism. Except here, you have an obvious indicator of your birth, which is the color of your skin"
"Eric you get an F and that's final"
"Fine, I don't want to sit in a class with people who live in denial. Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

I had intended to post this on Oct 2, but since I was about half-dead then, I decided to postpone it to Jan 30.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

haha ...... good one dude

Anonymous said...

is it a true episode or u made it up>?? i want to see it

Arvind said...

@arun: glad i made u think that way ;)


no, its not real, i made it up

Anonymous said...

As long as humans live, different categories of discrimination will exist and news one shall be created. Mind of each human being subject to variety of conditioning makes all these things possible.

Anonymous said...

Gandhi after fighting for the rights of Indians in South Africa came back to India and continued to work as a lawyer in states such as Bihar for the rights of Poor/Downtrodden peasants against Zamindars & other restrictive government laws. When these mini movements were successful, he was pulled into Indian National Congress by some of its tallest leaders such as Gokule etc. Rest is history. Gandhi also encouraged the activities for the upliftment of harijans as a side movement through the advocation of inter-caste marriage between higher castes and harijans. The successful national movement for freedom under Gandhi also indirectly led to the spawning of other social movements under other great leaders like Ambedkar, Periyar etc. One significant aspect of the Indian National Movement for Freedom under Gandhi was that it became the starting for many movements against discrimination, not only in India but throughout the globe.

Karthik said...

I think that's how South Park will look if it were written by someone with an young adult's mind.(as opposed to a teenager's)

And slowly, as a person's mental age goes up, it turns into documentaries? :-P

Anonymous said...

only u can make up stuff like this da.....

Arvind said...

@karuppannan: hmmm... yennennamo solreenga...

@karthik: what are u talking about? southpark was never written by teenagers

@priya: ahem ahem... ill take that as a compliment!

Arvind said...

@bhuvanesh: Cartman speaks his truth!

Anonymous said...

@mars: obviously. But u could have releived him of the strain.

Anonymous said...

That's pretty funny. You have a lesson in there, and that's in line with the South Park theme. Cartman deserves an Oscar.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous above was me --That's pretty funny. You have a lesson in there, and that's in line with the South Park theme. Cartman deserves an Oscar.--

Arvind said...

@ram a.:unfortunately, he gets an F for now...

Anonymous said...

Hey, there are politicians who scored F's in school, but end up winning Oscars. You just have to dream big...! ;-)